Archive for 2008

Now– Who Wants to Give Us Shit for Striking?

Conductor: [Steps out of the booth.] People, let me tell you about the day I’ve been having. Hold on. [Makes an announcement and steps back out.] First of all, we get a report that there are two men making love in the last train and have to go in there to break it up. Then we get two homeless women in here with all their bags and this lady all throwing a fit because they smell. The homeless woman says to her: “You better be getting out of my face!” and the yelling lady tries to grab her bags, she pulls out pepper spray and gets her right in the face! Hold on [Jumps back into booth.] and this lady right, she has her arms out in front of her face like this [crosses arms] like she got the power of Christ to protect her. We had the cops waiting at the next station and everything.

–A Train

Perhaps the Tie-Dye Onesie and Lennon Shades Were a Poor Idea

Overly enthusiastic white dad: What are you saying no to?
Toddler: No no no no no no no!
Overly enthusiastic white dad: Are you saying no to drugs?
Toddler: No no no no no no no!
Overly enthusiastic white dad: Are you not saying no to drugs? Are you doing drugs?

–73rd between Broadway and West End

Overheard by: UpperWestsidette

And Has to Sober Up to Drive Home

[Woman walks into restroom with two small girls. Girls notice puke on the floor.]
Girl #1
: Mommy, what’s that?

Mom: That’s puke.
Girl #2: Why did she puke?
Mom: She probably didn’t feel well. Mommy’s going to do that later because mommy’s had way too much to drink!

–T.G.I. Friday’s, Staten Island

Overheard by: Did I just hear that?