Archive for 2008

Like the Fingers on a Baseball Glove

Girl #1: That guy over there is so attractive… And he has a huge penis. I can tell from his fingers.
Girl #2: What?
Girl #1: Yeah, you can totally tell what a guy’s penis would look like based on their fingers. That’s how I knew it hurt when you lost your virginity before you even told me…I saw his fingers.

–1 Train

And Alice Cooper Isn’t?

Twentysomething woman #1: When I was younger I thought eyeliner on guys was hot.
Twentysomething woman #2: Eew!
Twentysomething woman #1: No, no, when I was younger. It’s like an imaginary unicorn. You think it’s so great, but it’s not.
Twentysomething woman #2: No way, unicorns are awesome!

–Duane Reade, 14th & 1st

Overheard by: Maianess

The King of Terrors? I Beg to Differ

Mother, to twelve-year-old daughter: Megan! Get back here!
Four-year-old boy: Mommy, Megan is trying to cross the street cuz she hates you.
Mother, bitterly: No, Megan is trying to cross the street because she wants to get hit by a car.
Four-year-old: If you get hit by a car you’d be dead, then you have to go to the hospital.
Mother, despondent: I don’t think you even understand death.