Archive for 2008

NewsFlash: Ruby Slipper Asskicking in Bryant Park!

Tourist lady #1: Look Sherry, there’s the tree.
Tourist lady #2: Wow, great! I’m soooo excited. (sees it) That’s it? Looks bigger on TV!
Tourist lady #1: Everything looks bigger on TV. Oprah isn’t really that fat.
Passerby: This ain’t Rockefeller Center ladies, go back to Kansas.

–Bryant Park Tree, 6th Ave & 41st

Overheard by: tonyElev

How Come Roasting Nuts Aren’t Gross When Nat King Cole Sings About Them?

Male suit: Ugh! What is that smell?
Female suit: It’s from the nut guy.
Male suit: Who?
Female suit: The nut guy. He’s over there selling warm, roasted nuts. He’s nuts for nuts!
Male suit: Oh. Man, it’s freezing out here! I wish someone would roast my nuts!
Female suit: Don’t be gross! There’s kids around!
Male suit: Yeah, what’s up with all these kids? What is up with 5th avenue?
Female suit: I think it’s a school trip. They’re here to see the tree.
Male suit: That’s fucking dumb! Their asses need to be in school!
Female suit: Wow, you’re unpleasant!
Male suit: Screw you! You’re nuts for my nuts!

–Rockefeller Center

Overheard by: Juan Chung