Archive for 2008

A Real Man Has the Scars to Prove It

Older guy at table: Goddamn it!
Younger man: What's the matter?
Older guy: Do you ever get some loose skin from your ball sack stuck in you fly? I can tell you right now, it's a motherfucker!
Younger guy: No, that's why we wear underwear.
Older guy: Yeah, well back in my day I was raised without them and god forbid, as long as I live, I'll never put one on till I'm cold dead.

–Burger King, Broadway

Ah Well– I'll Be Back Tomorrow to Summarize Gone with the Wind

Old creepster: Do you have The Princess Bride?
Employee: Let me see. (goes to shelf) No, we don't have it.
Old creepster: It's the one that's got whatshername, Sean Wright Penn. It was the film that made her career.
Employee: Right, but…
Old creepster: She used to have hair down to her waist, but she had to cut it for this film. And the whole thing is a story told by Peter Falk, he's a pretty old guy…
Employee: Right, but we don't have it.

–Circuit City, 79th & Broadway

Overheard by: EthanK

Who, Let's Face It, Is the Weak Link in That Triumvirate

Man #1: Yeah, Charley tells me he's afraid of ghosts. He's afraid they'll get him if he turns out the light.
Man #2: Yeah?
Man #1: Yeah, so I told him, “Charley, there are no such things as ghosts.”
Man #2: Okay.
Man #1: And then he asks Elane if there are no such things as ghosts and she starts going blah-da-de-blah on about the holy ghost.
Man #2: *Sigh*

–D Line

Overheard by: Mago