Archive for 2008

Only Thirty-Nine More Quarters to Go!

Hobo: Can you spare a quarter?
Young female Brit on phone: Just a sec, Mitch* (turns to hobo) what is it?
Hobo: A quarter, can you spare a quarter?
Brit: A qua-what?
Hobo: Twenty five fucking cents!
Brit: Here, have your quarter. No…in fact, take a dollar, go get pissed, or do crack. Or weed. Whatever you…
Hobo (interrupting): Actually, I was thinking sushi tonight.

–29th & 6th

You May Have Broken Up With Me, But at Least I Don't Use the Phrase “Shacking Up”

Chick holding shopping bags: Oh my god! Stan! I haven't seen you in like forever!
Chick's ex: Yeah, I've been pretty busy. Shacking up with girls, the like…you know. (chick eyes him over for some time) I look fantastic, don't I? (walks away)

–W 4th & 6th

Overheard by: friend of the ex

Anyone Else Hope She's Buying Birth Control?

Annoyed sexy girl: This is stupid! I don't see how you can just think one city is older than another!
Embarrassed boyfriend: Think about it. Can't you see how Rome would be much older than, say, Provo, Utah?
Annoyed sexy girl: Well, I've never been to either of those, so how would I know?

–Duane Reade, Columbus Ave

Overheard by: Veronica

Do Your Diamond Shoes Pinch Your Feet?

Young suit #1 (holding pack of gum): Do you have change for a hundred?
Female cashier: No.
Young suit #1: Dude, do you have a dollar? All I have is four hundreds.
Young suit #2: Sorry, I only have five hundreds.
Young suit #1: Ah, I hate it when that happens.
(the two suits leave)
Suit #3 (walking in)
: Do you have change for a hundred?

Female cashier: Don't make me kick yo' ass, brotha.

–Deli, General Motors Office Building

Overheard by: don't look at me, I make $10 an hour