Archive for 2008

But Is That “Fair Use”?

Guy with electric bass: This one’s real hard. Real hard. I’m gonna give whoever gets this one three dollars! Three dollars! [Sings] I can see clearly now the rain is gone…
Mother of three: Jimmy Cliff! Jimmy Cliff!
Guy with electric bass: Did you say ‘Jimmy Cliff’?! [Mumbling upon seeing her litter] Man, I wish she didn’t have so many babies… [Shouting to her again] You — you thought I said ‘rain.’ I said ‘train‘ — I can see clearly now the train is goneI wrote that, not Jimmy.

–2 train

Overheard by: jil

About 999,999 in a Million New Yorkers, to Be Exact

Dad: The first president was George Washington, then John Adams, then Thomas Jefferson, then James Madison, then–
Little girl: –Who’s the last president?
Dad: The president now? George W. Bush.
Little girl: I thought he was dead.
Dad: No… Some people want him to be.

–B1 bus

Overheard by: Jennifer

And Smoke It?

Crackhead girl: I said excuse me, man! Get the fuck outta my way!
Guy: Geez…
Crackhead girl: And you better fix your zipper before I take your penis!

–4 train

Overheard by: iliveherebutstilllooklikeatourist

I Brought My Paddle!

Passenger #1: I’m gonna be riding in the Five Boro Bike Tour, but I haven’t begun training yet. If I don’t train, my legs will be fine but my ass will be sore. My ass isn’t ready for that long a ride.
Passenger #2: I think Jake* would love to help train your ass for the ride!

–4 train

Overheard by: Hobo Whisperer

From R.L. Stevenson’s Treasure Trail Island

Girl #1: How often do you get wet?
Girl #2: Oh my god, we’re in public!
Girl #1: Well, I was just wondering, because everybody back home thinks you’re such a slut!
Girl #2: Piss off! At least I’m not a fire crotch!
Girl #1: Don’t you ever call me that ever again, or I’ll delete you off my Top Eight on MySpace!

–Times Square

Overheard by: Andrew

New York’s Most Critical Couple Savages Another Musical Event

Woman, about Hairspray: Harold, except for the finale number, I thought it wasn’t anything special. All the screaming and the jumping and the music…
Man: You’re right, Doris.
Woman: You know what was the golden era of the Broadway? The really good shows, Harold?
Man: What were they, Doris?
Woman: The Cats, The Les Mis, The Phantoms… That was the zenith, Harold. This one — I don’t know what it is.
Man: Me neither, Doris. Me neither.

–52nd St

Overheard by: izzy