Archive for 2008

No Change? Airports Are Making Great Strides in Lip-Gloss Confiscation!

White 20-something #1: Have you heard about the September 11th controversy?
White 20-something #2: No…what?
White 20-something #1: Well, Kanye and 50 Cent are both releasing their new albums on that date and if Kanye outsells 50 then 50 says that he is going to retire from rapping.
White 20-something #2: Wow! That's controversial.
White 20-something #1: Is it crazy that that's the new September 11th controversy? Things have really changed since then…
White 20-something #2 (pensive): Or *have* they?
Black guy to friend: Yo, man! Are you listening to this shit?

–L Train

Identical Twins Have the Strangest Relationships

Black guy (spotting a friend): Hey man, what's up? You know you one ugly motherfucka? (laughs)
Black guy #2: Dude, youse the ugly nigga. You've been one ugly motherfucka for ten years.
Black guy #1: You've been an ugly motherfucka since you was born.
(time passes, they talk in their separate groups of friends. Black guy #1 gets off train)
Black guy #2's friend
: Yo, your ugly nigga just left.

Black guy #2: He is one ugly mothafucka isn't he? (laughs).

–1 Train

Don't Make Me Go All Forte on Your Ass

Snobby woman to teenage girls talking: Decrescendo, girls. Do you know what that means? It's an operatic term for “lower your voices.”
Teenage girl: Actually, “decrescendo” is a musical term for “get softer,” and when you say get lower, you're actually referring to pitch, not volume.

–Metropolitan Opera Lobby

Overheard by: Maria