Archive for 2008

If You're Sober Enough to Remember All That, It's Time for Stiffer Drinks

(outside bar)
Guy #1
: It's your round.

Guy #2: No, it's not! Remember… I bought the first round because Paris Hilton went to jail. Then you bought a round because LeBron James had a kid. Then I bought a round when we figured out that the US Open was in Pennsylvania!
Guy #1: You're right! This round's on me!

–33rd St & 3rd Ave

The Statue Of Liberty's All About Huddled Masses Yearning to Ship Free

Teenage boy: So we get to New York, right? And I look at the sign, and it says in big letters: “Welcome to New York, home of the blah blah.”
Teenage girl: “Blah blah”?
Teenage boy: Well, I really think it said: “Home of Free Shipping,” which would be totally kick-ass because I really want free shipping. I mean, it's like sixty bucks to ship stuff these days!

–Penn Station