Archive for 2008

Anyone Else Hope She's Buying Birth Control?

Annoyed sexy girl: This is stupid! I don't see how you can just think one city is older than another!
Embarrassed boyfriend: Think about it. Can't you see how Rome would be much older than, say, Provo, Utah?
Annoyed sexy girl: Well, I've never been to either of those, so how would I know?

–Duane Reade, Columbus Ave

Overheard by: Veronica

Do Your Diamond Shoes Pinch Your Feet?

Young suit #1 (holding pack of gum): Do you have change for a hundred?
Female cashier: No.
Young suit #1: Dude, do you have a dollar? All I have is four hundreds.
Young suit #2: Sorry, I only have five hundreds.
Young suit #1: Ah, I hate it when that happens.
(the two suits leave)
Suit #3 (walking in)
: Do you have change for a hundred?

Female cashier: Don't make me kick yo' ass, brotha.

–Deli, General Motors Office Building

Overheard by: don't look at me, I make $10 an hour

He's Not Just President of the Ghetto; He's Also a Member

Asian chick: Yeah, we're sisters!
White chick: Don't you mean “sistas”?
Asian chick: Oh, yeah, right.
White chick: Why is it I have to teach you ghetto language when I am the least ghetto person I know?
Homeless guy: What's wrong with the ghetto?
White chick: Nothing's wrong with the ghetto. I'm just not from there.
Homeless guy: The biggest dicks are in the ghetto!

–33rd St & 3rd Ave