Archive for 2008

But Do “The Pee Pee Dance” for My Amusement, and We'll Talk

Desperate lady walking in diner: Can I use your bathroom?
Diner guy: Bathrooms are for customers only.
Desperate lady: I'll give you ten dollars.
Diner guy: Bathrooms are for customers.
Desperate lady: I'm desperate.
Diner guy: You can talk to the manager.
Desperate lady to manager: Can I use your bathroom?
Manager: Bathrooms are for customers.
Desperate lady: I'll give you ten dollars.
Manager: I don't need ten dollars.

–Diner, Chelsea

Overheard by: stephie

We'll Be Like, “That Was Sad. What's for Dinner?”

Midwestern tourist dad: Next we're going to the Empire State Building.
Six-year-old daughter: How far is it? Do we have to walk?
Midwestern tourist dad: Yes, it'll be fun.
Six-year-old daughter (in super whiny voice): Why? It's too far, I don't wanna walk!
Midwestern tourist dad: It'll be fun, we'll see the sights along the way.
Six-year-old daughter (on the verge of a tantrum): But I don't wanna!
Midwestern tourist dad (in very calm and soothing voice): Well, you can walk with us, or you can just lay down and die.

–5th Ave & 38th St