Archive for 2008

“Kobe” Something?

Girl #1: So, I just met this guy… And we, like, totally connected! I mean, I could tell him everything, and it felt like we belonged together, you know?
Girl #2: Dude… You’re 14 — you’re not supposed to find a guy that’s husband material! Get a grip! By the way, what’s his name?
Girl #1: [Silence.]

–UES

Overheard by: Lina

He Prefers You Barefoot and Pregnant

Hardhat #1: God don’t care if you wearin’ a choir robe.
Hardhat #2: Tha’s right.
Hardhat #1: God don’t care if you dressed like a priest.
Hardhat #2: Tha’s right.
Hardhat #1: Because God don’t care how you dressed.

–97th & Riverside Dr

Headline by: 6th Floor Blogger

Runners-Up:
· “God Would Prefer That You Remove the Ball-Gag During Communion” – dan
· “That’s Right. But Could You Please Put on Some Pants?” – Babakganoosh
· “The Undiscovered 11th Commandment: Thou Shalt Not Wear Crocs” – Meg
· “To Sum Up: God Loves Strippers.” – RaindanceRichard


Click here to see the new Headline Contest

Slow: Wednesday One-Liner-Xing

Mom to seven-year-old crossing street: Be careful, dear. You don’t want to get run over or we can’t have sushi.

–78th & Amsterdam

Cute girl halting before crossing into oncoming traffic: Okay, perhaps we should not die today.

–42nd & 8th

Overheard by: Traffic

Father to son running towards intersection: Remember! A foot in the street means a foot in your ass!

–57th & 4th, Bay Ridge, Brooklyn

Chick zig-zagging across street: I just cannot get down with manholes! Scary, scary manholes. I try to avoid them at all costs.

–83rd & Broadway

Bored cop on megaphone: Please walk on the sidewalk. Stop walking in the middle of the street… Stop walking in the middle of the street. Use the sidewalks… See how you’re on the black pavement? You want to be on concrete. See the cars trying to run you over? That’s ‘vehicular traffic.’ Get out of its way.

–Next to Radio City Music Hall

Boyfriend following jaywalking girlfriend: That’s illegal. [She ignores him.] That’s illegal!

–6th & 4th, Park Slope