Archive for 2008

Who Names Their Daughter “Gayla”?

Blonde middle schooler #1: So yeah, Omar asked me if I wanted to, like, go out with him again, and I was like, ‘Um, are you talking to me?’ Fucking retard.
Blonde middle schooler #2: Ewww, Omar?! Gross! He’s, like, ghetto or something.
Brunette middle schooler: At least someone asked you out! I’m 12 and I haven’t had any love in my life. What a loser!
Redhead middle schooler: No, we are friggin’ normal. All the ghetto girls lose their virginity when they’re ten.
Blonde middle schooler #2: Yeah, that’s true.
Blonde middle schooler #1: Nick told me he wanted to do it with me last year, in sixth grade.
Brunette middle schooler: Oh my god, Gayla! What did you say?
Blonde middle schooler #1: ‘Suck my dick.’

–99th & 1st

Could You Explain Again about the Timing of the Naked Break Dancing?

Bride: You are to behave like ladies.
Six-year-old #1: Can we take off our shoes?
Bride: Ladies take their shoes off after the ceremony.
Six-year-old #2: Can we run around?
Bride: After the ceremony, you can take off all your clothes and go nuts all night. I’ll be married. I won’t care.
Maid of Honor: But not until after the ceremony!

–Staten Island

Overheard by: Reverend Ryan