Archive for 2008

The Highest-Rated GMA Broadcast Ever

Tourist man: Yeah, this is ABC studios. They film Good Morning America here.
Tourist woman: Really? (cups her eyes and peers into the studios through the glass)
Rest of family: Wow! That's amazing! (they start taking photos of the empty studio)

–Outside ABC Studios

Overheard by: Amazing!

Headline by: Aidan

Runners-Up:
· “…And If You’ll Look Across the Street, You’ll Notice a Lovely, Blue Honda Civic” – Prashant

· “And Yet…the Content Of the Show Was No Different” – jason
· “I Love Morning!” – Sandy Paws
· “If You Listen Hard Enough You Can Hear Al Roker Laughing at His Own Jokes.” – Nicole
· “Tour Groups For The Blind Really Can Be Quite Cruel.” – alex


Click here to see the new Headline Contest

Wiisday One-Liners

Guy, getting his hair cut: So I spent $150 more than I would have if I got the Wii in the store, 'cause my wife said, "If I don't get Guitar Hero, I will divorce you."

–SoHo

Dork: Don't call it a Gameboy…you're downgrading my PSP.

–The Village

Small Asian kid, pounding the computer mouse in frustration: Where the hell is Carmen Sandiego?!

–Chinese School

40-year-old guy with ten-year-old kid, to GameStop employee: Excuse me, I'm thinking of buying GTA for my son. Is there a way to turn off the profanity?

–GameStop, Park Ave

Overheard by: Jake C.

Angry guy to girlfriend: Look, I get the whole not wanting to have public sex thing, but I don't know if I can be with someone who won't play Wii.

–43rd & Madison

Wednesday One-Liners Will Slap You Like a Red-Headed Stepchild

Woman on cell: Shut up! Shut up! I'm going to punch you in the face! I love you.

–A Bus

Spanish chick: Two things can't happen tonight. One, I can't get in a fight tonight. Two, I can't see nobody I don't like.

–5th Ave & 11th St, Park Slope

Overheard by: Matthew K. Johnson

Homeless, burnt-out surfer lady: Then I looked up, and this cunt is about to hit me like a man!

–139th & Broadway

Overheard by: Jesse Cromer

Guy to girl: The next time your parents chuckle at my misfortunes, I'm gonna kick 'em in the nuts. I'm gonna kill 'em!

–20th St & 5th Ave, Brooklyn

Jamaican conductor over PA: Don't move between cars while the train is in motion. I don't want to have to knock you the fuck out.

–1 Train

Overheard by: Got Knocked Out

It's Wednesday One-Liners, Paleface!

Guy to friend: When Obama wins, I'm going to slap a white person.

–Central Park Bench

Overheard by: Lane

Lady getting sprayed with perfume by her friend: Stop. Stop it! You gonna make me smell like white people.

–East Drive, Prospect Park

Overheard by: White smelly jogger

Black gay man sans shirt, upon seeing group of white girls wandering: Oh my god, white girls! Oh, I didn't mean it like that.

–Christopher St

Gentleman walking past Miss Mamie's Spoonbread Too restaurant: Man, black people eating tofu, white people eating spoonbread…

–W 110th & Columbus

Gingy, referring to ebony colored condoms: This way, when I fuck a white boy he'll still be black!

–E Broadway 99 Cent Store

Black lady in african garb: Too many white flower! Need more black power! (the only white girl around looks up confusedly, now black lady screams in her face) White flower!

–125th & Adam Clayton Powell

Overheard by: Ruby