Archive for 2008

So This Is Kosher?

White guy: Hi, I'd like a pork bun please.
Chinese bun saleswoman: Chicken bun?
White guy: Uh, no, a pork bun please.
Chinese bun saleswoman: Chicken bun?
White guy: Um, no. (points at pork bun) I'd like a pork bun. Pork.
Chinese bun saleswoman: Oh. (pause) Chicken bun?
White guy: Yes. Chicken bun.
Chinese bun saleswoman: Two dollar.

–Chinatown

Overheard by: Steve Major

When I Finish Shitting on Your Friend's Chest, I'm Totally Asking You Out

(teenage girl goes to stand next to her friend in line for the bathroom)
Crazy hobo
: Bitch, get to the back of the line! I gotta take a shit!

Teenage girl: Oh, I'm not in line, I'm just talking to my friend.
Crazy hobo: If you don't get outta line, I will take a shit on your chest. Do you want me to take a shit on your chest? Cause I will! (to teenage girl's friend) Oooh girl, you pretty. Why you hang out with cunts like these?

–Starbucks, 6th & Christopher

To Be Fair, Columbus Also Made Four Voyages

Conductor: This is a reminder that soliciting is illegal on all New York City subway trains, even if it's for the homeless.
Loud ghetto guy: Attention ladies and gentleman, I'm collecting money for the homeless. Help the homeless? Help the homeless?
Conductor: This is a reminder that soliciting is illegal on all New York City subway trains, even if it's for the homeless. This is his fourth trip. Don't do it.
Loud ghetto guy: Attention ladies and gentlemen, I'm collecting money for the homeless. Help the homeless? Help the homeless?

–Shuttle from Grand Central to Times Square

Overheard by: Alison R.

The Surest Way to a Man's Heart: Through Your Large Intestine.

30-something woman #1: It's only a matter of time when you start dating a guy before he asks you the question.
30-something woman #2: What question?
30-something woman #1: C'mon, the thing that every guy asks for in bed.
30-something woman #2: Ooooooohhhh, anal sex.
30-something woman #1: That's the question!

–E Train to Queens

Overheard by: butt, of course

Headline by: Brian Costlow

Runners-Up:
· “Alex, I’ll Take “Things That Will Never Happen” for $100″ – The Trayster
· “Gotta Stop Meeting Boyfriends at the Pray Out The Gay Sessions.” – KJM
· “I Always Keep My Strap-on in My Purse – Just in Case.” – Sodajerk
· “I Just Hope He Doesn’t Ask at a Baseball Game. Too Cliche.” – pieski
· “Pooping the Question” – tech98
· “Reason #32 to Be a Lesbian” – Trey Jackson


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