Archive for 2008

So This Is Kosher?

White guy: Hi, I'd like a pork bun please.
Chinese bun saleswoman: Chicken bun?
White guy: Uh, no, a pork bun please.
Chinese bun saleswoman: Chicken bun?
White guy: Um, no. (points at pork bun) I'd like a pork bun. Pork.
Chinese bun saleswoman: Oh. (pause) Chicken bun?
White guy: Yes. Chicken bun.
Chinese bun saleswoman: Two dollar.

–Chinatown

Overheard by: Steve Major

When I Finish Shitting on Your Friend's Chest, I'm Totally Asking You Out

(teenage girl goes to stand next to her friend in line for the bathroom)
Crazy hobo
: Bitch, get to the back of the line! I gotta take a shit!

Teenage girl: Oh, I'm not in line, I'm just talking to my friend.
Crazy hobo: If you don't get outta line, I will take a shit on your chest. Do you want me to take a shit on your chest? Cause I will! (to teenage girl's friend) Oooh girl, you pretty. Why you hang out with cunts like these?

–Starbucks, 6th & Christopher