Wednesday One-liners

A chick pushing an old woman in a wheelchair says: Just let me know when you get tired of walking. –59th & 3rd Overheard by: Christopher Queer: I can’t believe she said I was a liar. Sure I make random stuff up, but I’m not a liar. –West 4th & broadway Overheard by: MrRobinson Hobo: All right fine, you win, I guess I do wish they were shitty pilots. –6th Avenue & 9th Street

Patsy Cline Sings Wednesday One-liners

Hobo: July 31st! July 31st is the deadline, everyone! You must write your letters of apology to Bush or he’ll drop another bomb in the ocean and you can say “Good-bye” to Sri Lanka! –17th & 8th Overheard by: Edwin Lam Crazy guy: Son of a bitch! Why is it so hard to find true love? Don’t look at me like that. You want quiet? Go to the library. You think I want your money? I don’t need your money! Look at all these dollar bills on my pants! If I want money, I just peel one off. –6 train Crazy guy: Fuck you and your stupid leg. You fucking cunt! Cunt! Cunt! –L train Overheard by: Jonathan Farbowitz Drunk old Black guy: …people, we got these rhythms… rhythms that just don’t connect. I got rhythms, and you girls have got rhythms, but can we dance together? No, no…we can’t. That’s what happened when the Black man came to America, babies. Black and white, we just can’t dance, babies. But you girls should dance with me. –13th & 6th Crazy shirtless guy: Order in the court! Order in the court! Y’all is not guilty. Now get the hell outta here! –Port Authority Hobo: Does anybody on this bus have change for 36 nickels? –M60 bus Overheard by: Oz Skinner

I Find Starvation Heightens His T-Ball Game

Girl #1: Look at these pictures.
(girl #2 starts to look at pictures)
Girl #2
: Oh look, my son looks like one of those… uhhh… hmmm…? I forgot what they are called.

Girl #1: A hungry child?
Girl #2: Yeaaaah, like one of those kids from a third world country.

–Buhre Avenue, Bronx

Overheard by: DaILList4Ever

How Carlo Ended Up in Iraq

Confused Italian tourist: Excuse me, this go to South Ferry?
Guy: Yes. It's the last stop.
Confused Italian tourist: How I tell?
Guy: What? It's the last stop.
Confused Italian tourist: How I tell? How I know?
Guy: All the other tourists will get off! Follow the people like you.
Confused Italian tourist: No! How I tell!
Guy: That guy with the camera… follow him!

–Downtown 1 Train

Overheard by: Spoke Italian but was feeling unhelpful