Princess: First I got on the wrong train–going uptown instead of downtown—and there was like (*sigh*) not a single pretty person on the train. Only in New York. I can’t imagine being anywhere else in the world, getting on the train and not seeing a single attractive person! –Union Square Station Overheard by: Phil Rosenbloom
Why Not Just Rent?
Bachelor: I’m going to find out where all the hookers are, and I’m going to buy that. –2nd Ave & 5th St.
One Year Later
This past week the first anniversary of this site went quietly by. Wow, has it really been a year already? Yes, it has. We just said so. Please pay attention. We hope that the site has made you laugh, or caused you to look over your shoulder before speaking. We wanted to take this moment to thank our readers, especially those who contribute, and our non-readers, especially those who provide our fodder. This site wouldn’t be here without the help of friendly ears. If you heard anything, do take the time to send it in. We also wanted to announce that due to the great influx of submissions, starting tomorrow we’re going to be posting twice daily for as long as possible. Onward and upward, as we once overheard someone say. –The Overheard In New York Staff, NYC
Booby Trap
Guy: Hottest piece of ass I’ve ever seen.
Girl: She is beautiful, huh?
Guy: Yeah.
Girl: So you think they’re real?
Guy: I dunno.
Girl: I think they’re natural.
–Houston & Lafayette
5 Puppies, 6 Assholes
A man has a bag full of young dogs.
Chick: Oh look! It’s a pouch of puppies!
Angered Man: Puppy pouch.
–5th St. & 2nd Ave.
How About “We Don’t Try to Conquer Europe”?
German tourist: You can’t smoke inside and you can’t drink outside. What the hell do you people do in New York City? –Carroll Gardens Overheard by: Christopher
A New York Moment
A woman has a chihuahua in her purse. An old man enters the train.
Old man: Cute dog. Do you take him everywhere?
Woman: Uh huh. We saw Spider-man yesterday.
Old man: You saw Spider-man yesterday?
Woman: Yeah.
Old man: How did you like it?
Woman: Oh, you know. It is what it is.
Old man: Not that great, huh? Ha, ha. Well, take care.
The man leaves the train. The woman looks down at her dog.
Woman: That was weird.
–V Train
Teabagging 101
Preteen Boy #1: Get her, fuck her, leave her.
Preteen Boy #2: Is that what you do?
Preteen Boy #1: Hell yeah. Teabagging.
Preteen Boy #2: Teabagging?
Preteen Boy #1: Yeah. Get in and get out. That’s teabagging.
Preteen Boy #2: Ha, ha! Teabagging!
Preteen Boy #1: Hey, how do you spell Utah?
Preteen Boy #2: U… U…
Preteen Boy #1: Tell me how to spell Utah, motherfucker!
–Smith/9th St. Station
Overheard by: Mary Phillips-Sandy
He Meant Auto-fellated
Girl: “Teleported.” That’s what he said.
Boy: What?
Girl: You know, teleporting.
Boy: Oh, okay, yeah.
Girl: He said he teleported himself, but it turned out he was lying!
Boy: Really?
–6 Train
Overheard by: Mary Phillips-Sandy
Now Serving: Miss Modular
A DJ who has gotten too big for her britches finishes playing a Rubber Rodeo song.
Indie guy: Great song. So…you’ve got my info?
Miss DJ: Yes. I have your e-mail. We’ll be in touch.
Mr Bartender: If you’re going to be in touch with that boy, can I watch?
–Mondo, Bar 169