When the Moon Hits Your Eye Like a Big Wednesday One-Liner…

College girl: Oh my god, whoever invented pizza I want to touch intimately!

–111th & Broadway, Koronets Pizza

Little girl pointing at vending machine: You're not telling the truth! It says "made from the best stuff on earth" but the best stuff on earth is pizza! And pudding. And ice cream. All desserts and then pizza. And sushi. And mint tea…

–Grandpa's Pizza, Broadway & Isham

Overheard by: Rose Fox

Energetic young man in "I heart bacon" t-shirt: Can I have a quarter, man, for a slice of pizza? A quarter? Or a cigarette! I'll buy a cigarette off you for seventy-five cents!

–14th & Broadway

Overheard by: dcjg

Woman to girl leaving dance recital: Now you can eat a whole pizza!

–60th St & West End Ave


…Don't You Think?

Friend #1: Oh! We should all ride our bikes to Red Hook, check out the ball field, get Swedish meatballs at Ikea and hang out at the flea market.
Friend #2:: I… can't… do that.
Friend #1: Why? Oh, do you not own a bike?
Friend #2: No, I don't. And… I also don't know how to ride a bike.
Friend #1: What? And you live in Williamsburg?
Friend #3: Hey, it's ironic.

–South Street Seaport

Wednesday One-Liners Write Off Anal-Bleaching As a Work Expense

Blonde girl to guy friend: I've never done real porn before. What's it like?

–Fordham University Lincoln Center

Loud, long-haired, seemingly-straight white guy: So I wanna do a promo for the "hard-on" part!

–15th St & 5th Ave

Overheard by: Flyin' Thing

Sorostitute at nearby table: So I said, 'if there's gonna be sex, take out the camera.'

–Brooklyn

Overheard by: Ladle

Man, coming out of Peep World: Blu-Ray would of course make the money shot better… Not that I would know.

–33rd St

Overheard by: Deep Tech