Girl: Ugh. I hate rude people!
Boy: Umm…you're wearing sunglasses indoors.
Girl: That's not rude, that's pretentious.
–Port Authority
Overheard by: steph
Archive for January, 2009
Since the French Developed a Taste for Overpriced, Too-Sweet Coffee
Rich brunette: Like, I was just in Europe and it's all the same. Like, Paris and London are exactly the same as New York, there's no difference!
Blonde: But they speak French in Paris, though.
Rich brunette: But they even have Starbucks there too!
–Bryant Park
Further Evidence That Astrology Is Bullshit
Birthday girl: It's my birthday today!
Sales rep: Oh yeah? It's my brother-in-law's birthday today, too.
Birthday girl: Well, he must be totally awesome!
Sales rep: Yeah, he's in rehab for drugs.
–26th & Madison
I Dig Chicks With Mustaches
Russian girl to hipster: What's wrong with your hair?
Hipster: I dunno, what's wrong with your face?
Russian girl: (silence)
Hipster: So, what's your name?
–Q Train
Overheard by: Himani
I'm Beginning to Regret Abducting Them from That Playground in the First Place
Husband (about kids): I can't take them any more.
Wife: We were just as bad.
Husband: I was never bad. I was always good.
Wife: I was bad. I was a horror.
Husband: Then you deserve them!
–Central Park, Near Delacorte Theater
Overheard by: Lisa B.
If Only There Was a Way to Solve Both These Problems
Guy to begging bag lady: Somebody stinks!
Begging bag lady, over her shoulder: Somebody could lose some weight!
–Uptown C Train
Ever Since We Learned About Alliteration in English Class
Chubby teen with big ass: Guess what, mom…I have a new nickname.
Parent: What is it?
Chubby teen with big ass: They call me “tiny tush.” Whenever I see them they go, “hey, look, it's tiny tush!”
–F Train
Wait– It's Because Of Your Almond Eyes!
Black guy to Asian girl passerby: Excuse me, I don't want to be rude, but I've always wanted to have sex with an oriental chick. So…can we get a room or something?
Asian girl: Uhm…it's “Asian,” not “oriental,” 'k? (she walks off)
–69th St & 5th Ave
And I Made 'em Fill My Teeth With Jelly
Asian guy: So you really love chicken, huh?
Big white guy: Actually no, its not really healthy to eat a lot of meat.
Asian guy (looking confused): But you eat all those crazy amounts of skittles in your desk, right?
Big white guy: Yeah, but I don't have any cavities. I mean, I had some and got them filled, but I don't have any cavities right now.
–Wall St
If Being Agreeable Will Get Me Laid, Sure.
College girl: So, where are you from?
Indian guy: I'm from Bombay.
College girl: Is that, like, close to Pompeii?
–F Train