Woman, in line for bathroom: Is there actually anyone in the bathroom?
Man in front of her: Yeah.
Woman: Did someone die in there?
Man: I think the next person might.
–Starbucks, 2nd Ave & 9th St
Overheard by: the dead guy's girlfriend
Headline by: Nick Pollotta
Runners-Up:
· “Am I the Only One Fighting the Urge to Make a “Crappuccino” Joke Right Now?” – lauren beth
· “I’ve Heard a Lot Of Screaming From Inside” – KMW
· “Let’s Use the Bathroom Of the Starbuck’s Next Door” – Coyoty
· “M. Night Shyamalan Finally Hits Rock Bottom” – Nick Pollotta
· “Starbucks’ Experiment With a Grande Broccoli and Bean Chai Latte Ended Then and There” – Chris
· “Stephen King Is Running Out Of Material” – JohnAustin
· “The Birth Of the “Ladies First” Concept” – Morning Glory
Click here to see the new Headline Contest
Archive for March, 2009
Dear Dan Savage…
Teen #1: That's nasty, dude, she had strep throat last week. If you made out with her, you're totally gonna get strep throat.
Teen #2: Oh, fuck…can somebody get strep dick?
–N Train
Overheard by: -bill
'Ow! Ow! Ow!' Means 'Thanks'?
Gangsta: Yo, you didn't even thank me when I was putting it in your ass!
Girl, indignant: I did thank you!
–Wagner College
Giuliani Has Become Surprisingly More Compassionate Since Leaving Office
Man going into deli: Don't you have a sweater?
Hobo: Yeah, I got one.
Man: Well, put it on–you will catch cold.
Hobo: I'll put it on later.
Man: Put it on now, you cannot afford to catch cold in your line of business.
–181st & Fort Washington
New York Invented Social Darwinism
Girl #1: We can't cross now! There are cars coming!
Girl #2, beginning to walk into street: Well, they can't hit all of us.
–Lexington & 3rd
Overheard by: Following the leader
That Daniel Radcliffe Play Has Made Us All Smarter
Guy #1, discussing Plaxico Burress: Who the hell would name their kid “Plaxico”? Sounds like the name of an equine.
Guy #2: A what?
Guy #1: A horse, nigga.
Guy #2: Sheeeit!
–Whitehall & Water
Overheard by: PJ P.
I'm Always Like, “Should I Walk Straight, or in Circles? I Forget!”
Blonde European: I get lost between the avenues.
Brunette European: Me too!
–16th & 8th Ave
Overheard by: Jenny and LaLa
My First Day at the Academy, Just Like Everyone Else
NYC cop #1: You ever seen Bobby's World?
NYC cop #2: Yeah!
–The Pond, Manhattan
Overheard by: Oscar
That's Why We're Here
Student, reading incorrectly from The Scarlet Letter: “Gorgeous luxuriance of fantasy…”
English teacher: “Fancy.”
Student: “Fancy.” I can't read.
English teacher: I know.
–English Class, Bronx HS of Science
Overheard by: Lillian
Lipstick Rings Around the Toilet Bowl Are Never a Good Sign
Young daughter to mother flushing toilet: Mommy! It says “do not flush.”
Mother: No, honey, it says “do not flush feminine products.”
Young daughter: What are “feminine products”?
Mother (after pause): Lipstick.
–Macy's Bathroom, W 34th St
Overheard by: Brin