Archive for March, 2009

Close!

Street corner punk #1: Where did she say she lives?
Street corner punk #2: Yonkers.
Street corner punk #1: Yonkers? There's no place called “Yonkers”! She was playin' you, man.
Street corner punk #2: Whatchoo talkin' about, man? Yonkers is a city!
Street corner punk #2: Yeah right. There's also a city called “my balls.”

–Sutphin Blvd & 89th Ave, Jamaica

Overheard by: Big Larry

The Danger Of Marrying a Meat-and-Potatoes Guy

Woman #1: How many potatoes should I get? Like, three?
Woman #2, shrieking: Three? Three?! Are you serious? Have you seen your husband lately?
Woman #1, confused: Four?
Woman #1: He eats more than I eat in a year! He's huge! You'll need at least fifteen potatoes!
Woman #2: Yeah, I guess you're right.

–Whole Foods, Union Square

Overheard by: Sarah

To Be Fair, All Of Strawberry Shortcake's Bodily Emissions Smell Glorious

Older teen boy: Oh my god, yesterday after the party I had these farts that smelled odee.
Younger teen girl: Yeah, oh my god, was it that bad?
Older teen boy: I mean I was running away from my own farts.
Younger teen girl: Wow, it's weird cuz I love the way my farts smell!
(older teen boy walks away and crosses the street)

–Brooklyn

Overheard by: fart smeller