Archive for April, 2009

I Don't Know, You Keep Changing Your Fucking Story

Small giggly daughter: Daddy, do lions drink soda?
Father: Yes.
Small giggly daughter: Daddy, lions don't drink soda!
Father: No, they don't. Soda's bad for you…don't you know that, sweetie?

–D Train

Overheard by: Caitlin

Headline by: Emily Leonard

Runners-Up:
· “Children Get Confused When Their Daddies Are Always Lion” – Matt Wozniski
· “Fanta Bad…Antelope Good” – Edmond “The Lurch” Kida
· “Here, Hold on to Daddy’s Cigarettes Like a Good Little Girl” – Katoe
· “Mastering Her Psychic Powers, Little Susie Soon Ruled the World” – Nick Pollotta
· “Nick Pollotta’s Got This Rigged” – psh
· “There Goes the Narnia Product Placement Deal” – Baby
· “This Would Be Funny If He Didn’t Have Alzheimer’s” – Muse on the Loose


Click here to see the new Headline Contest

In Queens, If I Get My Way

Four-year-old boy: Dad, if I die, when will I come back?
Father: As far as I know, you won't.
Four-year-old boy, untroubled, thoughtful: But…what if everyone dies?
Father: Well, other people will take their place. Because everyone doesn't die at once. Know what I mean?
Four-year-old boy: Where will we put mom if she dies?
Mother, just arriving: Good grief!
Father: In the ground. In a box in the ground.

–Barnes & Noble