Archive for May, 2009

He's About a Minute Away from Devolving Into, “Red Rum! Red Rum!”

Adorable singing toddler: Too many people! Too many people! Too many people!
(train stops at station)
Adorable singing toddler: This train needs to move!
Woman sitting nearby: This kid is *awesome*!
(minutes later)
Adorable toddler, still singing: Meow, meow, meow, meow, meow! Be quiet, cat. Meow, meow, meow, meow! Shhh…cat, be quiet. You're not my cat, be quiet! Meow? Meow! Meow meow! –Downtown 3 Train

Like, a Nice Little Silver Clutch with Tassels?

Suit #1: Dude, could you imagine if, like, there was no paper money? And instead, all we had was coins made of some metallic elements?
Suit #2: Whoa, that would be pretty hot.
Suit #1, laughing: Yeah! (frowning) Except what if you wanted to carry $200 around with you? You'd have to carry like 200 coins.
Suit #2: Yeah.
Suit #1: Then you'd probably have to carry around a purse.
Suit #2: Oh.
Suit #1: But couldn't you just imagine…? –Fulton & Pearl

Only Wednesday One-Liners Bother to Look Up

British tourist, passing by The Pink Tea Cup Southern restaurant: Oh, look–an urban menu! –Bleecker & Grove Young Asian tourist girl: You mean, there's not actually any fields? –Strawberry Fields Overheard by: Jason K. Tourist, in thick Southern accent: I just don't understand how they turn the trains around so fast, and we don't see them do it! –Grand Central Station, Shuttle Train Overheard by: Sara Tourist hick teen to others: Everybody's wearin' shoes! –33rd St & 6th Ave Elderly tourist being escorted to her seat: Oh! I hope we get a booth! –Olive Garden Overheard by: EthanK Tourist to friend: No, we cannot go into a store. I cannot leave Broadway. How else would you expect me to get discovered? –Time Square