Archive for August, 2009

A Good New York Day Is a Day You Don't Get Someone Else's Poo on You

Girl in bathroom stall: Ohmygodohmygodohmygod!
Girl by sink: What?
Girl in bathroom stall: I just flushed the toilet because there was blue stuff in it and it splashed everywhere! I just saw that there's poo in the blue stuff!
Girl by sink: Gross! Did it get on you?
Girl in bathroom stall: It splashed my butt! Someone else's poo splashed my butt!

–Regal Cinemas, Union Square

How Do You Think I Got Into That Sorority?

Girl #1: I want to get pregnant in March. Let's get pregnant in march.
Girl #2: Wait, where are we now?
Girl #1: My uterus is ready.
Girl #2: I had a full checkup, and my uteri are great.
Girl #1: Oh my god, you have two uteruses? You are awesome! You have utters. You have yoo-utters!
Girl #2: Yeah, I have three breasts.

–Cafe near Columbia

Overheard by: DL