Archive for August, 2009

The Little-Known Third Option in “Bluetooth or Crazy?”

College girl #1, about old lady talking angrily behind her: Who do you think she's yelling at? Don't look, I think you should guess. Don't look!
College girl #2: No, I'm going to look. Yeah, she's not talking to anyone. No phone.
College girl #1: Oh.
(they both turn around to stare at her and continue walking)
College girl #1
: Well, she's probably Italian.


–27th & Park Ave

Overheard by: Lynne

It Made Finding a Prom Date Easy

Teenage boy, making out with girlfriend: Did you know my mom and I are only 15 years apart?
Teenage girlfriend: No way, that must have been really hard.
Teenage boy: No, it's good to be a young mom.
(making out resumes)

–7 Train

Headline by: Botticus

Runners-Up:
· “I’ll Show You in 9 Months” – Sandy Paws

· “In Fact, It’s Bit Of a Family Tradition” – Traditionalist
· “Please Tell Me This Isn’t What Inspired Gilmore Girls” – katenonymous
· “Psychologists Call This “Priming”” – chuck


Click here to see the new Headline Contest

Wednesday One-Liners Feel a Lot Better Now

Guy to friends: A girl farted on my head once, and I dated her for three years.

–14th St & 3rd Ave

Overheard by: MC

Woman to friend: And then he farted in my mouth.

–Ding Dong Lounge

Overheard by: Rosalind

Hobo, farting loudly, turning at girl walking behind him: That's for you, you fucking bitch!

–Yellow Line Subway Station

Overheard by: Craigalanche

Latina on cell, firmly: I'm not bi-curious, I'm just fart-curious

–49th & 5th

Overheard by: olga

Crazy hobo: Once, I was eating Cracker Jacks, you know, the one with the prize in it? When I finished the box, I farted in it, then sealed it up again. When I opened it a week later, I got the surprise of my life!

–1 Train

Overheard by: nella

Wednesday One-Liners: Soon to Be Gentrified

Ghetto woman on cell: No, no… he ain't ghetto. He ghetto fabulous.

–28th & Lexington

Ditzy tourist: Did you know that, like, all the trains with numbers go to all the rich places and all the trains with letters, like, go to the ghetto areas.

–6 Train

Loud guy: Is that a 50 cent soda? You know you in the ghetto when you got a 50 cent soda.

–Jackson Heights

Woman on cell: That bitch is mad ghetto. She wore her wedding dress to work.

–Lenox & 118th St

Overheard by: K

Wednesday One-Liners, Literally

Man on cell, authoritatively: Ejaculate!

–14th b/w 3rd & 4th

Mother to curious little girl reaching out to touch Wall Street bull's testicles: No! (yanks her away)

–Bowling Green

Woman shouting across a grassy field: Slutbots!

–McCarren Park, Brooklyn

(intercom beeps 10 times)
Train conductor, over intercom
: Shit.

(intercom continues to beep)

–Hudson Line Train

Man on bike speeding along Brooklyn Bridge walkway: Pussyhoooollleeeeee!

–Brooklyn Bridge

Quiet, older gentleman sipping coffee, leafing through newspaper: Motherfuckers!

–Barnes & Noble Coffee Bar, Broadway

Overheard by: Suze V