Archive for 2009

Gangstas, Inc. Still Hasn't Learned to Hold Private Staff Meetings

Girl on train: Excuse me, don't touch my bag.
Young thug: I am just tryin to close your zipper.
Girl: Yeah, and then you take my wallet!
Thug: Why you think I am gonna take yo wallet? Because I'm black?
Girl: No, because I heard you tell your friend “I'imma steal this bitch's wallet.”
Thug: Oh.

–A Train

And If That Doesn't Work, We'll Tell Him Jesus Hates Drinkers!

Small girl, seeing drunken man reeling down the street: Daddy, what's wrong with that man?
Father: I think he's just drunk a bit too much beer.
Small girl: Hannah's daddy likes beer.
Father: Yes, but if you drink too much of it, it can make you fall down.
Small girl: We should tell him!
Father: I think he probably knows.
Small girl: He might not!

–Times Square

They're Essentially Running Around Barefoot, Rubbing Sticks Together for Fire

Curly teen: Did you see that guy with tattoos all over his face? Do you think he's allowed above 14th Street?
Brunette teen: I think he can get to 23rd without too much damage.
Curly teen: No way, Chelsea is too classy to handle that.
Brunette teen: Not really. They did just open up a Chipotle.

–Union Square