Archive for 2009

Does Hallmark Make a Card for That?

Middle-aged woman #1: Do you still see Paul and Adira?
Middle-aged woman #2: Well, I could call them any time.
Middle-aged woman #1: But then you'd have to have a relationship with them.
Middle-aged woman #2: It's not that I don't want to have a relationship with them…
(pause)
Middle-aged woman #1
: But you don't want to have a relationship with them.

Middle-aged woman #2: Exactly.

–Columbus Circle

“Twats on Broomsticks”? I Think We've Found Our Band Name!

Girl #1, before movie: I don't even know what this movie is about.
Girl #2: I told you already–it's based on these books, they're kind of like Harry Potter, except with vampires.
Girl #1, after movie: That was nothing like Harry Potter. Harry Potter is twats on broomsticks. That was softcore porn.

–AMC Loews

Not All Of Confucius's Sayings Are Gems

Girl shopping for vegetables: What's the difference between these two kinds of broccoli rabe?
Asian farmer: One is Chinese broccoli rabe. It's more sweet. The other kind is bitter.
Girl: Why are some of them yellow and some of them green?
Asian farmer: That's just different names, like how some mens is short and some mens is tall.

–Fort Greene Farmers Market

Overheard by: Morning Glory