Archive for 2009

Are You Tearing Up, Dude?

Student #1: I was on my way to work one morning, and I saw a live cockroach scurrying across the sidewalk in broad daylight.
Student #2: I thought that they don't like the light? I've only seen them at night and in subways.
Student #1: This was like a badass little rebel cockroach. I bet he got sick of being a slave to the darkness and dared to go where no cockroach has ever gone before. And all his cockroach friends were like “Don't do it, Jerry, no one's ever come back!” but they just couldn't hold him back.

–Lincoln Center, Fordham University

Overheard by: Fordham Student

Clearly You've Never Made Condom Water Balloons.

NYU guy #1: If a girl asked me to go buy her some tampons, I wouldn't care.
NYU guy #2: Yeah. Actually, I'd rather buy tampons than condoms.
NYU guy #1: Yeah! Because like, with condoms it's like “yes, I am planning on having sex tonight”! But with tampons it's more like, “oh, what are you gonna use those for? A nose bleed?”

–Starbucks

Overheard by: fair point.

Great. Now Explain It Again in a Slow, Sultry Tone.

Music teacher: So, how do you control the sound of a recorder?
Embarrassed teenage boy: Um… You put your fingers… Uh, in the hole. And the higher you want the sound to be, the more fingers you put in the hole.
Music teacher: Is there any other way to control the sound?
Embarrassed teenage boy: Well, the harder you blow, the faster the sound will come. And the softer you blow, the slower it'll come.

–Bard High School, Queens

Overheard by: Sunny