Archive for 2009

…God, I Miss Her.

Buff 20-something black guy: Yeah, she was that one I was going out with last summer.
Tall 30-something black guy: So what happened?
Buff younger black guy: She got fat! In like two weeks! And also, she was cheating on me: she never told me she hadn't broken up with her boyfriend at the time!

–Planet Sushi, Amsterdam Ave

Overheard by: Susan Volchok

Our Bad.

Security guard #1: I tolz him, if he looked at my woman again, I'd cut 'em in the dick. And he did, so I cut 'em in the dick.
Security guard #2: Aw, hell no! You can't just go around doin' that! I stabbed a dude once! But it was back in the 70s and I kept it way down on the downlow, no one ever found out.

–Harware Store, Upper East Side

Or Have the Pigeons Grown Weary Of My Great Depression Stories?

Gramps: Those bags from the store…
(children and mother laugh).
: You're talking very loud.

Gramps: What–are we in church? Did I wake somebody up?
(children and mother continue laughing)
: What did I do wrong? Should I go sit outside?

–Doctor's Office, Central Park West

Overheard by: Erick B