Archive for 2009

Which We'd Said Many Times Before, in a Slightly Different Context…

Middle-aged frat boy #1: So one night, we decided to sleep at Arby's.
Middle-aged frat boy #2: So how did that work out for you?
Middle-aged frat boy #1: Not well. We had to leave. Bob could have blown like a .4, and he was the most sober of us. So he drove to this hotel, and we didn't notice until the next day that it was Punxsutawney where the groundhog is! We woke up and were like, “why are there all these beavers?”

–7 Train

Overheard by: D-Law

…Now That You've Warmed It for Me.

Jamaican woman: Just give me the fucking birth certificate and let me go!
Man: No! Did you just come here to fuck up my day?
Jamaican woman: We're on 23rd and 5th! Just give me the fucking birth certificate and my money!
Man: Why are you always trying to fuck me up like this?! I'm not giving you nothing! Leave me alone, I do not have to give you the birth certificate!
Jamaican woman: Fine! You take that birth certificate and put it where the sun don't shine!
(storms off, returns a minute later)
Jamaican woman
: Now give me the birth certificate.


–Madison Sqaure Park

Overheard by: Anniemal