Archive for 2009

Was Saving 49 Cents Really Worth All That?

Cashier: Look, it's $1.99, okay? Then, I take $1.49, okay. So it's two for a dollar, okay.
Customer: I don't get it, it said it was two for a dollar and you are charging me $1.49.
Cashier: No, no, no, see, it's $1.99, okay. I take out $1.49 okay. See, watch. I scan it and it says $1.99. Then I take out 1.49, see.
Customer: No, I don't see, I don't get why you are charging me $1.49.
Cashier: Ugh… Mary*, come here. (speaks to Mary* in Spanish)
Mary*: When she scans it you don't see the real amount because she isn't finished the transaction yet.
Customer: Then why wasn't she showing me that?
Mary*: She did show you that.

–Pratt Institute Associated, Myrtle Ave

Overheard by: Is Subtraction Really That Hard?

Raggedy Ann Got Soaked

Girl #1: How was babysitting yesterday?
Girl #2: Pretty good, but all of a sudden, in the middle of the park, the kid I was watching begins to breastfeed her doll… (silence) I'm not kidding.
Girl #1: Wow, that's fucked up.

–Barneys Co-Op, Spring St

Wednesday Isn't One-Liner. He Has a Girlfriend in Canada.

11 year-old girl to dad: Sucking on something automatically makes you gay.

–High Line

Overheard by: Kirby

NYPD detective, working Gay Pride parade: They've been coming out for the last two hours. And they will probably be coming out for another three hours!

–5th Ave & 55th St

Overheard by: Just Visiting…

Not very effeminate gay guy, near extremely effeminate group of pride festers: Suddenly, I don't feel so gay!

–PrideFest, Abingdon Square

Overheard by: proud dad

Man to friend: The problem with getting too buff is that people start to think that you're gay.

–Starbucks

Male fashionista to stranger on bus: And she thought I was gay because I dress well and stuff. (to another passenger) Oh, is that moisturizer? Can I use some?

–Hampton Jitney

Overheard by: Can't imagine why she thought so

Woman handcuffed to man, having romantic picnic with rose petals spilled over a blanket: I didn't think I would be handcuffed to you in a park telling you all of my secrets when I met you in a gay bar!

–Central Park Sheep Meadow