Archive for 2009

Stop Fighting This Instant or We Will Turn These Wednesday One-Liners Around and Go Home!

British tourist to misbehaving child: Do you want a smacked bottom now or the other thing when we get home? –Central Park Overheard by: birdw0rks Mom to kid playing on shopping cart: You'd better stop that, or you're going to fall and crack your head, and I'm going to laugh, cuz I told you so. –Grocery Store Father to four-year-old son: Watch out, these people are trying to kill us. –36th St & 5th Ave Overheard by: benny Guy to son who is hesitant about seat in theater: If I had been this choosy with your mom, you wouldn't be here! –Park Slope, Brooklyn Mother to daughter: I don't want to hear about your hunger pangs right now. Now turn around and look at the sea lions. –Central Park Zoo Overheard by: kathcom

Wednesdiverse Multi-Liners

Soulful black man: Well, think about this. A white man lived in Graceland, a black man lived in Neverland. (nods knowingly) –Downtown A Train Overheard by: Bearsian Gallery director to intern: So after he was arrested we sent a letter to Henry Gates asking him for money, you know, since we are a multicultural organization. –Lower East Side Art Gallery Latina to Latino: Latinos and black people can't be racist. That's, like, just white people. –Red Hook, Brooklyn White hobo: When I see a black nigger together with a white nigger, that just confuses the hell outta me. –Houston & Clinton Woman: She likes black dogs because she's black, and I like white dogs because I'm white. –Upper West Side Overheard by: Yehuda

Bless Me, Father, for I Have Wednesday One-Linered

Man in cowboy hat, looking at large crowd surrounding a Jew for Jesus: Man, I can't compete with religion, all I got are card tricks! This sucks! –Union Square Overheard by: SilentRaver Guy on cell: Why, is it because it's the blacks? (pause) Oh, I get it. It's the Baptists. –Cosi, 13th & Broadway Overheard by: Heather Crazy creepster, going up to Catholic girls and screaming: Catholic schoolgirls rule! –R Train Overheard by: Amanduh Tall, 40-something guy on cell: I don't know… I don't think I can go drunk to church. –53rd St & 5th Ave Overheard by: Midtown Schmidtown Woman: My husband is pissed because I skipped church for this shit! –Medieval Festival, Ft. Tryon Park

That's What I Was Afraid Of

Mousy teen girl: You know, a lot of people say I look like Paris Hilton. They say it's my facial features.
Trendy teen girl: Yeah… You know, even though Paris is really skinny and has big boobs, and that's exactly what guys want, her face is disgusting.
Mousy teen girl, looking down awkwardly: Yeah. –Uptown 6 Train Overheard by: Miss Rach