Archive for 2009

These Towers Change Height Depending on Arousal and Time of The Month

Pubescent teen #1: I thought the Twin Towers fell!
Pubescent teen #2: They did! Do you see them through the fence dummy?
Pubescent teen #1: From where I'm standing, they look like they're still standing, and quite firmly at that! (nudges friend) Look!
Well-endowed woman, catching them staring: Isn't there a story time or something at Barnes & Noble for you kiddies? Run along, I think they have Elmo this week!

–WTC Site

Like a Lifetime of Being Doubly Oppressed?

Gay black hipster to cop: Officer, of course he stole my five dollars! It was mine. It was right there.
Straight white hippie: I did not take anything of yours.
Gay black hipster to cop: Officer, who are you gonna believe, him or me? I mean, look at him–he's not even dressed well!
Straight white hippie: Dude, I hope something seriously bad happens to you.

–Union Square Subway Station