Archive for 2009

All the Webcam Viewers Laugh, Though.

Annoying comedy ticket seller: Want to see comedians?
Passer by: No.
Annoying comedy ticket seller: Why not? Everyone loves to laugh!
Passer by: Still no, leave me alone.
Annoying comedy ticket seller: Well, if you don't like laughing, what do you do with your spare time?
Passer by, fed up: Masturbate!

–42nd & 8th

I'm Not Just Her Attorney, I'm Also a Client

Suit to suit friend: That's so nice of her, to pick you up at one in the morning. You just asked her to come get you?
Suit friend: Yeah, I called her and I was like “hey, babe can you come get me? I got out of work late. Just wake the baby and bring him in the car.” Twenty minutes later she was there. With divorce papers she had been working on.
Suit: Well, at least she picked you up, bro.
Suit friend: Very true.

–12th & 5th

Overheard by: Sarah