He'll Feel Superior for About a Minute, Before He Realizes He's in Brooklyn

Train conductor: This is Atlantic Avenue. If you don't want to be left in the city get off now, if you are going to the city, buckle up… wooo hoooo!
Ghetto woman: This nigga lost his mind.
Ghetto child: Just like daddy?
Suit: Fucking morons! (walks off train) –Q Train Overheard by: Got Off On Atlantic

Wednesday One-Liners Had It As a Safety School

Asian chick: I’m just so sick of failing in general. –NYU Bobst Library Overheard by: jason NYU girl to friends: Well, he’s not always drunk. Sometimes he’s high. –Prince & Mercer NYU chick: I found out I didn’t have AIDS… I went to Whole Foods… It was a good day. –27th & Park Overheard by: It was a good day NYU bimbette: All popular people have herpes. Just look at them! –NYU NYU chick: Yeah, we almost broke up like four or five times, so I think that’s indicative that we’re happy together. –Bowery & Canal NYU girl on cell: I don’t know what to do about going abroad. My parents want me to go to London, but I looked at my Tarot cards and they’re telling me Dublin. What should I do? –721 Broadway Overheard by: Tyler Queer student: I don’t really have a problem with incest, but in my family there aren’t many lookers. –NYU Silver Center

Then I Can’t Help You because You’re Not Real

Brit: Hello, my HSBC debit card isn’t working at the ATM. The bank probably thinks there’s fraudulent activity since I’m in America and not in England.
Teller: Okay, I’ll check it out… I can’t seem to find your account, sir. What’s your social security number?
Brit: Huh?
Teller: Your social security number — do you not have one?
Brit: No…
Teller: Hmmm. Okay… –HSBC, 40th & 5th Overheard by: Rachel W. Headline by: have SSS #, am real Runners-Up:
· “…Then Please Sing the National Anthem.” – pbump
· “How About Your Penis Size, Then?” – Mikey G.
· “I’ve Contacted Homeland Security. Enjoy Syria.” – Daniel Patterson
· “Okay I Need You to Fill Out IRS Form W-7 and Apply for a Tax Id Number and Then Come Back to This Counter in 4-6 Months.” – Ty
Click here to see the new Headline Contest

Hey, Bra, Check Out These Sweet Wednesday One-Liners

Frat boy: That is the last time I am *ever* jacking off to gay porn. –Gristedes, 42nd St Overheard by: …while sober or drunk? Frat boy to another frat boy staring intently at a young woman dressed as a Hogwarts student: I am really drunk! –14th St & University Place Midwest frat dude: The ugliest girls in New York City are like the hottest girls I've ever seen! –St.Marks & 3rd Ave Overheard by: slohmie Frat boy: Dude, I'm not hating -I love gay guys. All I'm saying is -they buy a lot of Kosher wine. –23rd St & 7th Ave Overheard by: Dina Frat boy: We've had sex everywhere… In cars, in public places…I've seen her vagina more times than I've seen my mother's! –Wagner College