He Was Wrong

Drunk girls singing to birthday girl: For she's a jolly good fellow, for she's a jolly good fellow, for she's a jolly good fellow…
Drunker girl: And she's got a big cock!
Random black dude behind them: Bet it ain't bigger than mine! –Bleecker & Bowery Overheard by: Anna

Wednesday One-Liners Put Them on One Leg at a Time

Boy to girl: Does it look like my ass is eating my pants? –Brooklyn Tech Overheard by: Julie Eight-year old girl: It’s not me, it’s the pants! It’s the pants! –81st & Roosevelt Ave Overheard by: Jobee Woman on cell: No. No. Absolutely not. Look, would you please put some pants on? –8th & Broadway Cop to his cop friends: My buns don’t look good in these pants. But hey, what can you do? It’s part of the uniform. –Times Square Shuttle Station Overheard by: Heather Girl on cell: Do you have to shit? Oh… So go in your pants! –Union Square Overheard by: Shira Incredulous thug to friend: You drop your pants to hop the train? –W. Houston & 1st Ave Overheard by: Jon A.


Girl: When I was a kid my parents bought me everything I wanted.
Guy: Well yeah, you were really spoiled.
Girl: No, I was highly entertained.
Guy: You were spoiled. You got everything, right?
Girl: Yeah…
Guy: So you were spoiled.
Girl: You don’t understand. I didn’t cry or whine. My parents just bought me everything. –N Train

Wednesday One-Liners Check ‘In a Relationship’

Chick on cell: I always end up dating people whose names aren’t actually their names. –Harlem Overheard by: Ladle Woman on cell: There’s this guy I think is really hot. He’s gained some weight and lost his hair… but in a graceful way. No, no, nothing like that. He’s really nice and he’s so smart… Well, he drinks a lot. –Strand Bookstore Overheard by: MHY Woman to friend: 2006 was a terrible year, but 2007 is gonna be better… No men in my life! But there’s this man at my job, and I’m trying to stay away from him, but I just can’t. From the moment I saw him… Whew! One day he said to me, ‘Girl, put your hand in my pocket, I got some lunch money in there for you.’ And I did it, and… Whew! I said, ‘I know what that is… That’s no lunch money… Let me feel it again.’ –F train Overheard by: liza Man on cell: If I can’t get an American Jewish woman to go out with me… then there must be something wrong with American Jewish women! –45th & 8th Overheard by: Melanie British chick to guy: I’m not breaking up with you in that sense… –49th St, between 9th & 10th Ave Overheard by: nyamelia Hipster chick: … And I’m like, ‘I love you.’ And he’s like, ‘Get away from me.’ I think he’s just afraid of commitment. –7th Ave Overheard by: Regina Deorum Woman to friends: Who needs a boyfriend when you’ve got a dog who farts? –Max Brenner, Broadway, between 13th & 14th