Archive for August, 2010

Like Spiders Do

Law school girl wannabe #1: Maybe I can sell my eggs for like $50,000.
Law school girl wannabe #2: But what happens if your kid is out there dating their brother or sister?
Law school girl wannabe #1: That's a good point… There's a chance that would happen.
Law school girl wannabe #2: That's why you need to follow up on your eggs and find them in the real world, and check in on them.

–Bryant Park

Overheard by: Jack Handy

Yes, It Was a Sex Thing.

Annoying tween: Oh my god, my dad made me use this, like, Salon brand shampoo. Oh my god, look at this volume! There's nothing! (two friends nod) And, guess what? It also smells like llama spit! (two friends look confused) You want to know how I know what llama spit smells like? My dad once got spat on in the face by a llama!

–1 Train

Overheard by: Lily

I Had a Long Conversation with One While I Was Shrooming the Other Day

Girl #1: So, like Buddhist worship cows. They feel like they are sacred and don't eat them, or milk them, or nothing…
Girl #2: Aw, shit! For real?
Girl #1: Yeah, most of them are vegetarians. They don't eat anything that's alive, or has a soul, or something… Cause you can be reincarnated into something you can eat.
Girl #2: So what do vegetarians eat?
Girl #1, staring blankly: What?
Girl #2: What do vegetarians eat?
Girl #1: They're vegetarians! (giggles) Fuck! Vegetables! (rolls eyes, then laughs)
Girl #2, looking oddly: But trees are alive.

–Times Square

Overheard by: Brownsugarwater