Archive for August, 2010

You Never Complain About My Mustache When You're Riding It

Drunk girl to hipster boyfriend: How come my hair always gets stuck in your mustache?!
Boy: I don't have a mustache.
Drunk girl: You know what I meant, boy! A beard! My hair always gets caught on it! Do you ever get food in there? Or coffee? Do you get a little sick if you sleep with a wet mustache? (pause) Oh, I'm just messing… (laughs at herself) but I hope you've been washing that thing with shampoo and conditioner every day!

–West Village

Tracy Chapman Only Needs One

Girl #1, touching bamboo sculpture: Rose, how do you think they're gonna get this down?
Girl #2: I dunno, untie it?
Girl #1: But I mean… Are they gonna, like, move it to a warehouse or, like, incinerate it? That's super not ecologically sound.
Girl #2: Um…
Girl #1: Fuck! They should just put pandas up here. Like a shit-ton of pandas. One, pandas eat bamboo. B, it would get the job done fast and all that would be left is the rope. Three, the more pandas eat, the stronger they get; the stronger they get, the more they bone, and then they're less endangered. Four, it would be really cute on the news, and… Five? Dude, pandas!
Girl #2: Are you high?
Girl #1: I've just had a Riesen.

–Roof Garden, The Met

Why Some Relationships Don't Survive Travel.

Tourist girl: So how do you know which stop is which? Is this our stop?
Tourist boy: No, this is 50th, see? We're going to 81st.
Tourist girl: We'll be on here forever!
Tourist boy: It won't take long.
Tourist girl: So it stops at every street?
Tourist boy: What? No, it doesn't make a stop at every street. What would that…
Tourist girl, interrupting: It better not! Can I play a game?
Tourist boy: No, you can't. It's my phone. Maybe you should get one like it.
Tourist girl: Let me see it. What game is this?
Tourist boy: That's the map, remember? You said you didn't understand how to work it?
Tourist girl: Oh, yeah. Is this our stop?
Tourist boy: No, this is 59th St.

–Uptown B Train

Overheard by: Annearchist