Archive for September, 2010

We Unite in a Common Purpose Of Self-Destruction

Guy: So you smoke for social reasons? I don't get it.
Girl: You know, I do it so that I can go out and talk to others. I only do it when I'm wanting to spend time with people.
Guy: I still don't get it.
Girl: It's just what I do when I want to spend some time with my friends.
Guy: Oh, so like how cocaine is for me?
Girl: Yeah! Kind of like that. –1 Train

You Can't Handle the Wednesday One-Liner!

Girls on bench: Is US weekly magazine, like, the only one that's true? –Central Park Man on cell, crossing street: And I told that Jewish cunt that everything she's heard about black men is true, and I'm gonna stick my foot in her fucking mouth. –46th St & Madison Ave Bum conversing with Bible-toting teens: Yes, it's in the Bible… But is it true? –Union Square Skater boy: Most things aren't true. –72nd St & Amsterdam

You're No Body 'til Some Body Wednesday One-Liners You

Ghetto girl to group of friends: And I was just like "Oh my god! No, she didn't! Not with that nose!" –C Train Guy: You could fry an egg on her stomach. –Union Square Green Market Overheard by: Confabulation Nation Indian cougar: I just like the feeling of a nice hard young male body. –Bowery St Overheard by: Dj bj Woman showing pictures on camera: And this is da one where I'm givin' him da deaf eyes… –West Village Overheard by: Cass Woman on cell: Never once have I opened my legs to anyone… besides you. –Downtown Brooklyn Overheard by: Matt Martin Teen to friend: They said it wouldn't be fair for me to fight her cause she ain't got no fingers. –Outside Erasmus High School