Archive for 2010

But Screech Makes a Sex Tape? Doesn't Seem Fair.

Tourist lady #1: Oh, look. Mario Lopez is in Chorus Line.
Tourist lady #2: I don't know who that is.
Tourist lady #3, lasciviously: Oooh, Mario Lopez.
Tourist lady #1, to lady #2: You've never heard of Mario Lopez?
Tourist lady #2: No.
Tourist lady #1: You've never seen him on TV?
Tourist lady #2: No. What's he been in?
Tourist lady #1: He has an eight pack instead of a six pack! Tee-hee!

–51st St & 6th Ave

Overheard by: Jessi Spano

There's No Money in Rolling Corpses Anymore

Delivery truck man #1: You know what's great at that Chinese spot?
Delivery truck man #2: What?
Delivery truck man #1: Their pork dumplings.
Delivery truck man #2: I'll tell you what.
Delivery truck man #1: What?
Delivery truck man #2: That's definitely not kosher.
(they laugh)
Delivery truck man #1
: But wait if I take it to a rabbi to bless, can it become kosher?

Delivery truck man #2: Good question.
Delivery truck man #1: Yeah… Wow! We are on the right side of the ferry, remember when the right side was for only cokeheads and weedheads, and your mother would say “don't go on the right side of the ferry” and people used to OD and you would find dead bodies? Those were the days!

–Staten Island Ferry

You Can't Say “Engelbert Humperdinck” in a Gay Bar, Sir

Bar patron, listening to Sweet Caroline: Wow. I've never heard this version before. It's cool! Who's singing?
Twinkie bartender: It's from that show Glee. I've never heard the original, though. Whose song is it?
Bar patron: Oh, man, that takes me back. Englebert Humperdinck. A guy named Englebert Humperdinck–he wrote it for Caroline Kennedy.

–Gay Bar, West Village

Overheard by: Bob

In That It Sucks for All Eternity

Girl #1, in line for movie: This line is so long. Maybe we should go see another movie and come back and get our phones after.
Girl #2: That's not a bad idea. What could we see?
Girl #1: I would totally see Twilight again.
Girl #2: I didn't see it the first time you guys went.
Girl #1: Oh my god! You would love it! Did you like Degrassi?
Girl #2: Of course! That show is awesome.
Girl #1: Well Twilight is like Degrassi but with vampires. It's awesome!

–Loews Lincoln Center Theater

Overheard by: Suffering in silence