Archive for 2010

All Couples Eventually Become Lesbian Couples, Anyway

Girl #1: Man, I am so excited to just move.
Boy: When you move in with me, can we get a Chia pet?
Girl #2: Oh, girl, watch out. You get a Chia pet and it's a slippery slope. Next thing you know, you and Cliff will be wearing cat sweatshirts and writing fan fiction.
Boy: That's gonna happen in secret.
Girl #1: Whatever, bitch, we're gonna grow herbs.

–The Met

…In the True Spirit Of Easter.

Teen skater #1: Dude, I wanted to chill on Easter but my mom said I had to go to church.
Teen skater #2: You should've said “mom, fuck church!”
Teen skater #1: Dude, if I had said “fuck,” I wouldn't be alive. I would've been under the couch. My mama would've stuffed me in a bag… Put some incense on that shit so it wouldn't smell.

–6 Train

Overheard by: trying not to laugh

Flying a Plane Into Something Is Always the Answer

Male office drone #1: So what do you think of them building a mosque by the World Trade Center?
Female office drone #1: I feel it's disrespectful. I have Muslim friends and I know they're not all terrorists, but there's mourning families to think about.
Male office drone #2: Why don't we put a statue of Hitler in Times Square? There might be some Germans who would want to pray to him.
Female office drone #2: Let them put up a mosque there and then fly a plane into it. Show them how it feels. (others look shocked) Not a manned plane, you know. One of those drones.

–Dunkin' Donuts, Lower Broadway

Overheard by: Big Larry