Archive for 2010

Where There's Smoke, There's Wednesday One-Liner

Guy at ATM to friend: The $60 fast cash button should just be labeled "8th of weed."

–Chase Bank, Astor Place

Probation officer to juvenile: You think you can't get arrested for marijuana? Are you out of your damn mind? You're taking a drug test right now, you out-of-your-damn-mind son!

–Bronx Family Court

Overheard by: Adog

Guy to girlfriend: The more stoned I get, the better you sound.

–72nd St & Broadway

Guy: So then I smoked a goodnight bowl at Chris's.

–E 10th St

Overheard by: What about a good morning bowl?

20-something to friend: I'll save the world second, but I'll get high first.

–Houston & Essex

Frases De Miercoles

Young guy on cell: You're lucky I'm Colombian. If I was Ecuadorian, I'd be slapping you!

–Jackson Heights

Overheard by: Jobee

Angry man walking alone, to himself: I could have married a Dominican, but no, I decided not to!

–Mercer & Broome

Teen girl to friend: Your new Mexican is super creepy.

–On Line for the Colbert Report, Hell's Kitchen

Guy on cell: No, no, man, she's Puerto Rican. I'm just sayin' she's Dominican 'cause it sounds hotter.

–105 St & Lexington

Thug holding box of maxi pads: Yo, that motherfucker is like the gay Mexican Marlon Brando. Classic…

–CVS

Overheard by: Karen

First Of All, It's Fiji

Janitor, looking at bathroom floor: Oh, I don't need this! Look at this water all over the floor! All over the place! Why don't you clean your pussy at home? Pour Evian all over the floor so you can clean your pussy–clean your dirty pussy at home! I don't need this! Water all over the floor!

–Bathroom, Port Authority Bus Terminal

When He Caught an Episode Of The Bad Girls' Club, He Went Into a Coma.

Woman, as train stops: Mmm-mm… Excuse you!
Younger man: Huh?
Woman: You cut in front of me.
Younger man: How did I cut in front of you? You get up, and the people closer to the door go first. Like on a plane.
Woman: You cut in front of me, and a gentleman never cuts in front of a lady.
Younger man: Right. And a lady doesn't go “mmm-mm… Excuse you!”

–Grand Central Platform