Archive for 2010

Wednesday One-Liners See New York With Fresh Eyes

Tourist to another, looking at Ellis Island: Look, there is Alcatraz!

–Staten Island Ferry

Little tourist girl to dad: Why are there so many brown people in this city?

–Lexington & 59th St

Tourist: We have made it to the center of the earth!

–Times Square

Overheard by: Lance Torres

Tourist: Wow! Times Square is really busy tonight.

–Times Square

Overheard by: erkala

Teenage tourist: Soooo… It's like a little bus… On rails… That goes in a tunnel?

–42nd & 7th

Where There's Smoke, There's Wednesday One-Liner

Guy at ATM to friend: The $60 fast cash button should just be labeled "8th of weed."

–Chase Bank, Astor Place

Probation officer to juvenile: You think you can't get arrested for marijuana? Are you out of your damn mind? You're taking a drug test right now, you out-of-your-damn-mind son!

–Bronx Family Court

Overheard by: Adog

Guy to girlfriend: The more stoned I get, the better you sound.

–72nd St & Broadway

Guy: So then I smoked a goodnight bowl at Chris's.

–E 10th St

Overheard by: What about a good morning bowl?

20-something to friend: I'll save the world second, but I'll get high first.

–Houston & Essex

Frases De Miercoles

Young guy on cell: You're lucky I'm Colombian. If I was Ecuadorian, I'd be slapping you!

–Jackson Heights

Overheard by: Jobee

Angry man walking alone, to himself: I could have married a Dominican, but no, I decided not to!

–Mercer & Broome

Teen girl to friend: Your new Mexican is super creepy.

–On Line for the Colbert Report, Hell's Kitchen

Guy on cell: No, no, man, she's Puerto Rican. I'm just sayin' she's Dominican 'cause it sounds hotter.

–105 St & Lexington

Thug holding box of maxi pads: Yo, that motherfucker is like the gay Mexican Marlon Brando. Classic…

–CVS

Overheard by: Karen

First Of All, It's Fiji

Janitor, looking at bathroom floor: Oh, I don't need this! Look at this water all over the floor! All over the place! Why don't you clean your pussy at home? Pour Evian all over the floor so you can clean your pussy–clean your dirty pussy at home! I don't need this! Water all over the floor!

–Bathroom, Port Authority Bus Terminal

Guess That Explains Why Your Grades Have Started to Sag

Loud Dominican kid #1: Yo, that girl Adriana…
Loud Dominican kid #2: Who, that white girl?
Loud Dominican kid #3: Yeahhhh, with the big titties?
Loud Dominican kid #1: Yeaaahhh, she was, like, leaning over helpin' me with a problem and I was like “yeaaahhhh…”
Loud Dominican kid: Word?
Loud Dominican kid #2: She got like c-cups…
Loud Dominican kid #3: Wait, I don't, like, know the alphabet…

–L Train

Overheard by: Larson