Archive for 2010

Get Your Own Annoying Routine

8-year-old boy to friend: You can't stop me, I'm the Indian man! You can't stop me, I'm the gingerbread man! You can't stop me, I'm the Jewish man!
Friend: You can't stop me, I'm the Indian man!
8-year-old boy: All the single ladies! All the single ladies! If you like it, then you shoulda put a ring on it!
Friend: You can't stop me, I'm the Indian man!
8-year-old boy: Stop with the Indian thing!

–McDonald's

Overheard by: Brittany

Um, Hello, I Tan Regularly!

Rich girl: So yeah, we just got back from the club.
Black guy: Oh, yeah?
Rich girl's friend: Um, excuse me…
Black guy: Excuse me! I'm talking to her, not you. You're the ugly one, remember?
(phone rings) Yo. Hey, man. Oh, nothin'. Just talking to a couple white hos.
Rich girl's friend
: What?

Rich girl: Stop bein' such an ugly white ho, Danielle.

–LIRR

Overheard by: Just another white ho.

I'm Just Burning and Throbbing for a Job

Boyfriend: I would do just about anything for a job right now, maybe even take it in the ass.
Friend: Ew! Why would you want to do that? It burns and throbs for like a week after.
(long awkward pause)
Friend
: Uh-oh. (blushes, runs away)

Boyfriend, yelling over crowd: Oh, great… You set me back months with my girlfriend.
Girlfriend: You're such an asshole!

–Brooklyn

Overheard by: nick