Archive for 2010

…And a Milkshake, Please.

Woman in store: Let me get a bacon and cheese on a roll.
Deli guy: Okay, bacon egg and cheese on a roll.
Woman: No eggs! I have high cholesterol, I'm trying to stay away from that… Just bacon and cheese on a roll, and put some mayonnaise on it. (mutters under her breath) Pshhh, eggs, you tryin to kill me with high cholesterol.

–Lafayette Ave & Broadway

Those Who Marry for Wednesday One-Liners Earn Them

Girl to friend: I mean, if he was rich I would pretend to like him; but he's not, so…

–46th & 3rd

Guy on street to couple: Baby girl, you're just embarrassing yourself. Don't do it. You know you're just with him for his money cuz everyone knows white men ain't got no dick.

–5th & 32nd

Ghetto young man: That is why I'm gonna marry a rich white woman. My daughter needs a good life; my sugar mama can pay for her to go to a private school. I'm a playa, but I gotta marry a rich white woman for my baby girl.

–A Train

20-something guy to friends: So this chick I like says "let's wait until you start making money til we start dating." So I said to her "what makes you think I want to date you once I start making money?"

–St Mark's