Archive for 2010

Tragically Hip Wednesday One-Liners

Hipster girl to friend: I told her it was the wrong kind of plaid. Not all flannels are equal.

–Bowery & Bleecker

Overheard by: but lumberjacks are supposed to be burly men!

Hipster to another: And I was like "Do you want some nail polish for that camel toe?"

–2nd Ave

Overheard by: Shan

Hipster guy singing to self in country twang: Whennnn am I gonna get me sommmme Ugg boooooots?

–4th Ave & 13th St

Hipster guy in eyeliner and mascara: I was being facetious… I would not wear leggings.

–Jamba Juice, 13th St & University

Overheard by: helenathegreat

Hipster girl screaming on cell: I want you to want me to want to touch you!

–Columbus Circle

“Your Mama's So Wednesday, She's a One-Liner!”

Young woman in need of sympathy: You have to forgive me! My mother, she fucked me up! I'm soooo fucked up!

–7th St & Ave A

Overheard by: stephie

Teenage girl: My mom is a fan of "wild sex" on Facebook.

–Starbucks

Girl in red jacket: It's not the whole gay thing, it's the whole sex-in-front-of-your-mother thing.

–Hudson & Varrick

Man to another, across seat: Get up! Get up, fool. Yo' momma don't love you! And if yo' momma don't love you, don't nobody love you.

–E Train

Male NYU student: Yay, my mom's picking me up!

–NYU

Overheard by: George

Wednesday One-Liners and the Law Of the Harvest

Older black woman on cell, screaming: There are no leaves on the floor. No! No fucking leaves on the floor. The fucking leaves are green and still in the trees. Did you hear me?

–7th Ave & W 18th

Ghetto Spanish chick on cell: Oh my god, you got your tree? A pink tree!? Say, word… I'ma come by after work to see your pink tree. I never seen a pink tree before! Is it real?

–4 Train

Overheard by: DCBX

Sad 13-year-old to friend, in total seriousness: Right now… Here in social studies… My FarmVille crops are dying!

–Middle school, Coney Island

Blonde hipster to blonder hipster: So I told her, "you can take everything, but at least leave me the front lawn."

–Gramercy

Wednesday One-Liners for Tammany Hall

Girl with Obama pin: Oh my god, I can't believe I spent this whole night hanging out with a Republican!

–104th St & Manhattan Ave

Overheard by: Emily

Guy to friends: There's only one thing I want him to shove down my throat, and it's not his Republican ideals.

–43rd & 8th

Gov't. Teacher: Sometimes you wanna smack a moderate.

–Curtis High School, Staten Island

Overheard by: jules

Woman: I blame McCain for the snow.

–St. Mark's & 3rd Ave

Overheard by: Philip & Richard

Wednesday One-Liners Are Confirmed Bachelors

Gay student in freight elevator to other students: This reminds me of every romantic encounter I've ever had.

–SVA George Washington Dorms

Overheard by: Nicole

Flamboyant gay man to another: Have you taken a trip down to his passion peninsula?

–Gay Club, Williamsburg, Brooklyn

Gay guy to girl on his arm, kindly: That was a waste of your breath and my time.

–Broadway & E 7th

Overheard by: Jon A.

Flamboyant, queened-out Lady Gaga-style gay: Diva, you have to promise me that when I die, you'll head straight up to my apartment and remove all my dildos and drugs so my mom won't find them.

–A Train

Gay man to another: He's a genealogist. Of course he's a bottom!

–6th Ave & 13th St