Archive for 2010

The Hat's an SS-ombrero

Loud bald man: My grandmother taught me that it's rude to keep your hat on while you're eating! Take it off, Robin Hood!
Guy in hat: (mumbles)
Loud bald man: Come on, take it off. We're not in fuckin' Mexico.
Loud blonde woman: Isn't it so great that he's Mexican-German? His parents are so great.
Guy in hat: (mumbles again)

–Le Zie, 7th Ave

Overheard by: Rose Fox

And Does This Mean I Can't Cheat Off Of Her in Class Anymore?

Girl #1: So, how's Christie? She hasn't been coming to class.
Girl #2: Not so good. She tried to commit suicide again.
Girl #1: Ugh! What did she do this time?!
Girl #2: She swallowed half a bottle of pills. She started throwing up and hallucinating, but fortunately her mom found her and took her to the hospital.
Girl #1: Sometimes I think she likes to exaggerate things for effect. I mean, if you were hallucinating, then how would you know that you were hallucinating? And how do you swallow that many pills anyway? I can barely take one.
Girl #2: Well, her mom said she…
Girl #1, interrupting: So what is she going to do now?
Girl #2: Her parents think it is best if she stays in a mental institution for a while.
Girl #2: Wow! I could never do that! Live in the crazy-house, I mean. If I was surrounded by that many crazy people then I might start to think I was crazy too!

–6 Train

As Long As I Have TV, Reality Can Go Fuck Itself

Stringy-haired teen in waiting room: See? We got here an hour early and we're still sitting here.
Trashy mom: Shut up and watch Martha Stewart.
Stringy-haired teen: My stomach hurts. That chocolate I ate today upset my stomach.
Trashy mom: That's what you get for eating chocolate at eight am.
Stringy-haired teen: I woke up at six, ate some, then went back to bed. Then I woke up at eight and finished it.
Trashy mom: Shut up and watch Martha Stewart.

–Dentist Office, Brooklyn