Archive for 2010

As Real As NYU Gets, Nowadays.

Female NYU student: Like, my mom went to NYU. Like, when it was real.
Male student: Yeah, my dad went to NYU.
Female NYU student: Like, before Stern was called Stern, and it got shut down by the government because it was like, communist.
Female NYU student: I haven't showered in like, two days. I like, stink. I can smell myself.

–Cooper Square

Overheard by: saucy jade

We'd Like to Thank Wednesday One-Liner for This Emmy

Chick to friend: I've been really committed to learning about Jesus lately. Can you believe how crazy it is that Jesus was in the desert for 40 days and 40 nights? I mean, like, no food or water for that long? Crazy! I mean, I never even realized how crazy it was until I saw David Blaine do it.

–R Train

Dreaded hobo, evangelizing: You gotta be able to suck dick to accept the love of Jesus Christ!

–40th St & Madison Ave

Overheard by: melissa

Dude: It's not gay if it's Jesus!

–Morningside Heights

Overheard by: Ladle

Fat Christian evangelist to another: Jesus had the computer technology to manipulate the atoms of water. That's why he could walk over the waves. That's how we convince the atheists.

–Union Square

Overheard by: smoking on the stoop

Hipster on cell: My aunt got a promotion at work. She's a big deal. If this were the bible, she would be Jesus' nephew.

–17th St & Broadway