Archive for 2010

Wednesday One-Liners, Approximately

Woman: Well, I still remember that 5,820 feet is a mile, 36 feet is a yard…

–Grand Central Station

Overheard by: People are wrong.

Girl, looking at guy: If I give you five dollars, will you grow a foot long?

–6 Train

Overheard by: Jeggy

5th-grader to table full of friends: Attention everyone. I have finally reached five feet!

–Cafeteria, Private School

Overheard by: Maddy

Guy on cell: Holy shit! Hello Kitty is taller than me!

–Times Square

Chubby 20-something guy, feeding chips to chubby 20-something girlfriend while making airplane and spaceship noises: The exhaust port is only two meters wide!

–1 Train

Hey, Wednesday, Your One-Liner Is Showing!

Middle-aged woman, angrily on cell: You tell him to go outside right now, and take his clothes off!

–32nd St & Park Ave

Overheard by: djlori

Girl to friend: All of a sudden there's a naked man! Like, this doesn't translate well visually.

–Uptown 1 Train

Suit on cell: How about I send you two naked kids to have a good time? Fair enough?

–60th St & Columbus Ave

Overheard by: Stacey V

Girl on phone: Topless anarchy is still anarchy, man.

–5 Train

Short dude to friend: I woke up naked and wrapped in cellophane–again!

–Columbia University

I Don't Even Like Thinking About Life Cereal

Pudgy short guy #1: What's going on? Yoga! That's like stretching and stuff, right?
Pudgy short guy #2: No, man. It's like contortion and meditation and stuff! You think about your life.
Pudgy short guy #1: Oh, no way! I don't like thinking about my life. Like, living it is cool, but I don't want to think about it.

–Park, Long Island City

Overheard by: Courtsnort

When Your Editors Have Nightmares

Ditzy girl #1: I have to go, I kind of don't have time to get Pinkberry right now.
Ditzy girl #2: Come on! We're almost at the front of the line, it'll be like five more minutes.
Ditzy girl #1: I'm like an hour late for work!
Ditzy girl #2: Chill out, it's your first day, it's not like you have a record of being late!

–Pinkberry , 112th & Broadway

Overheard by: That's one more job out there for me!