Archive for 2010

Wednesday How Many Liners?

Cute guy to German flight attendant on layover: So, do you have cars in Germany?

–Barracuda

Overheard by: barkeeper

Girl: So, my mom is Jewish and my dad is Christian. Does that make me, like, bi-racial?

–Eugene Lang College

Overheard by: Still ashamed I go to school here

Hispanic high school girl: Is the Fourth of July always on a Friday?

–N Train

Overheard by: D-Law

Guy to friend: Well, that's nice, they have these machines set up for the visually impaired, but what about the deaf people?

–ATM, 38th St & Madison Ave

Overheard by: jennyooooo

Student: Is Swedish even a language?

–Columbia University

Trucker: What are you, stupid, or both?

–M86 Crosstown Bus

I Wouldn't Expect Someone Who Uses Words Like “Elevator” and “Stroller” to Understand

British chick: I love my sneakers! They are designed to tone my calves.
American friend: Your sneakers are like the Twighlight vampires, lame and sparkly.
British chick: Yeah, but I'm gonna have the best calf muscles!
American friend: Okay!

–AMC Loews Kips Bay Theatre Movie

I Certainly Couldn't Make It through Life Without That Stuff.

Hobo: Hey, there's your cab right there!
(suit opens cab door)
Hobo
: Hey, don't forget the tip! I pointed the cab out!

Suit: Yeah, the one I was already walking towards. Don't think so.
Hobo: Come on man, help a brother out.
Suit: Sorry, I don't have any singles.
Hobo: Come on papa, how's about a ten spot? I don't drink, I don't do drugs…
Suit: Well, maybe you should. (gets in cab)

–18th St & Park Ave

Overheard by: SandmanEsq

…Douchebag.

Judge, at conclusion of trial: Well, I must say I was very impressed with the quality of the attorneys for both sides. It's extremely unusual and refreshing to see attorneys acting like lawyers.
Attorney: I would suggest, your honor, that it would be more accurate to say that it is unusual and refreshing to see attorneys not acting like lawyers.
Judge: Point well taken.

–Civil Court, Sutphin Boulevard, Jamaica

Overheard by: Big Larry