Tall, loud girl to friend: I don't know, I think he really just wants to settle down, you know?
Hobo sitting nearby: Hey! I wanna settle down!
–Broadway & 78th St
Overheard by: Mary
Archive for January, 2011
One Involving Your Pikachu
Girl #1: Yeah, and when I opened the drawer it had a dildo, I swear!
Girl #2: Is that a Pokemon or a game?
–Bryant Park
In the Movies, Their Spouses Would Run Away Together
Woman in dress, after smooching with guy: But how?
Guy: Don't worry baby, I already told about you to my wife.
Woman in dress: Aww, baby…
–31st St & Broadway
Says He Wants to Have My Baby
Girl #1: But I secretly like when guys check me out.
Girl #2: What about Steven*?
Girl #1: Oh yeah… He's like a lesbian, who knows.
–Hunter College
Somebody's Jonesing for Some Jarlsberg
Guy driving by: Is that the line for the liquor store?!
Large black lady in fancy fur coat: Naw, it's for cheese, muthafucka!
–Outside Liquor Store, 145th and Broadway
Overheard by: Madame Veuve Cliquot
Technically, It Was a Crackhead Baby.
Cute blond girl, hearing loud scream: What kid is throwing a temper tantrum? Jesus!
Boyfriend: No, that's just a crackhead.
Cute blond girl: Oh.
–Shake Shack, Madison Square Park
Overheard by: Noelle
Have Skirts Gotten Too Short? Discuss.
Girl #1: I think my tampon is stuck in my v-j-j.
Girl #2: I that happened to me once.
Little boy, walking by: Mommy whats a “v-j-j?”
Mom: Your father will buy you one when you're 21.
Girl #1: Can you have a look for me?
Girl #2, looking: Damn, it looks like a mouse!
–47th St
She Hope He'll Grow Up Too Stupid to Reproduce
Little boy, pointing at polar bear decal: Cat!
Nanny: That's right.
Little boy, point to same decal: Dog!
Nanny: That's right.
–Park Slope
Now She's Insulting Me!
Drunk girl to very drunk guy falling asleep on girl: Get the fuck off her lap!
Very drunk guy, slurring: She grabbed me.
Drunk girl: That was me, you idiot!
–Q Train
Overheard by: Brooke
Some Yuppie Child You Are
Brooklyn mom: You are the only kid I have ever met who doesn't like goat cheese.
Nine-year-old: Peanut butter!
–Brooklyn Heights