Archive for January, 2011

There Are Niche Fetishists Who Would Pay Top Dollar for That Footage

Guy #1: I just don't like the look of the outie. And sometimes she rubs it against me, it creeps me out!
Guy #2: Dude, she's fuckin' hot! And you're complaining when she rubs against you?
Guy #1: No, no, no–she's not rubbing against me, she's rubbing the outie against me–big difference! And she's only doing it to creep me out, 'cause she thinks it's funny.

–6 Train

Raise Your Hand If You Assumed It Was a Harry Potter Thing.

Six-year old girl: Mom! I want some triffles!
(tired mother ignores her)
Six-year old girl
: Triffles, mom! Can I have some when we get home? Please, mom? I want triffles! Triffles, triffles, triffles!

Tired mother: What the hell is a triffle? I don't even know what those are.
Six-year old girl: Yeah. Me neither.

–Crown Heights

Overheard by: Now I really wanna know

…You Should've Kept the 19-Year-Old on the Side!

50-something guy #1: I mean, I like being with her, I just feel we have nothing to talk about.
50-something guy #2: You have to admit it wasn't really the conversation you got into the relationship for.
50-something guy #1: I know. But I still wish we connected more.
50-something guy #2, exasperated, suddenly much louder: Well, then you shouldn't have left your wife for a 19-year old!

–Asphalt Green Gym

Overheard by: Richard

And It Was Only on the Face

Girl #1: To tell the truth, I don't know why everyone's sad he's gone… He sounded like a horrible person. He wasn't exactly a faithful guy, from what I've heard.
Girl #2: Well, no, he only cheated on her once.
Girl #1: Once is one time too many! And he seems like the type to beat her, too.
Girl #2: No. Well, wait… He did… But it was only once.
Girl #2: Oh, okay! Only once…

–Starbucks

Overheard by: Itwasonlyonce